How late is he planning on staying out, anyway? If he's shacking up with some girl, I'm going to KILL him. And if he drags himself back here so drunk that he spends the whole day in the car tomorrow alternately sleeping and puking, I'm going to kill him TWICE.

You know what Dad's journal needs? An index. For once, I would really love to be able to just look up "Demons, breaking contracts with", rather than having to read through four billion notes on everything from different species of ifrits to charms for making yourself repugnant to succubi. (Hmm. I wonder if those would work on Dean.)

5/29/07 (later yet) or maybe it's 5/30/07 now, who cares

Where IS he?

Stupid jerk.

No ... you know what's REALLY stupid?

I'm not just pissed at Dean for being withdrawn and hard to get along with. I can understand that. He's scared. But what freaks me out is he's not really scared for HIMSELF. He's facing eternity in hell, and he's not scared for himself.

He's scared for me. He's scared for everyone back here that he's not going to be able to protect.

The thing I hate most about Dean, the thing I resent the most about him, is that he's so goddamn -

[these words are struck through] martyr brave unselfish heroic STUPID STUPID STUPID

Okay, that's it. I'm going out to look for the idiot.